Listening to - Still Searching by Damian Marley

hani got into tp too. atlast, a skoolmate among us.

went to nys hse ferst thing todae. hani, joo aka hizzy were there too. hizzy skipped skool or sumting. yah. JC girls arent angels. they were all busy gettin hani ready..for a date, i heard. then hani left for town while hizzy went to poly to get her mc..n nys followed me to tp to hand in my enrolment package.

somehow, i did take notice of her chinese ex-primary skoolmate. gulp.

met hizzy back at central, she bot us bbq wings. n we bot her momo tea. how sweet. yea i noe. took 168 n we followed her to woodlands cuz hizzy had to take sum notes from her skool.

innova jc looks uber fly i tell u. *chokes.

went to causeway point. used the toilet. and i cant believe i actualli bought ciggies for hizzy. wat a taboo. took a cab to east coast after tat. the ride was long. long enuff for nys to hid hizzy's flip flops, gave them back, flirted wit tat bangla, made a fool, hizzy's mum to call, they both fucked up, hizzy cried, hugged her, she cooled down. all for $18?

bot 40 sticks of satay. 10 for the girls. 30 for my fam.

hizzy paid for the cab ride back to tamp. stopped over at afghan, nys bot me n sha chix rice. den the both of us went back to sha's hse. ate..den went to meet hizzy n bib under one of those blocks. uhuh bib looked good in srjc uni. but the tie..erm, will make her look like a x'mas tree or sumtin. but yah, she looked good. really.

hani returned none of our calls. o_O

tat's today.

and last night. well. i was pathetic. and to those who came over to make me feel better, thanks. thanks for watching me at my worst. never been worse, infact. n to my girls, sorry if i shocked u when i cried like tat. yah, i cry too.

relationship is not just about hugs and kisses. it comes with more complexity once two feelings combine and when this happens, i just never noe wat to expect. it gets confusing sometimes. not because i tink the future's vague but i just don't have the courage to believe, that, there is going to be a future after all. and the funny thing is, this is not even a relationship that we share. yet it hurts so bad when i let one night pass without a kiss, a hug, not even one smile. we let it pass without saying goodbye.

i fell. and i stood back right up.
i thought he means more that what all my ex-boyfriends had to offer. but now i'm really convinced.

anep, u were one big jerk, fuck.
but i still luf u very very very much! ; )

p/s: my gums hurt and i haf ulcers in my mouth. sounds like symptoms of those sexual diseases. im so going to the doc tmr.



•2:39 AM•