maybe. maybe all of you should stop calling and asking me questions from so far away. bloody come up to me and listen to me speak god damn it. it hurts enough not to be able to eat well and not talk properly so FUCK IT ALREADY. now how i wish i can scream that into all of your faces.

sighs.

i'm rarely up so early like this but these mornings have changed my sleeping pattern a tad too much to suit my medication intake and hourly gurgles. very funny it is because one, this morning when i had drunk the water after i had popped the pill into my mouth, the water went straight to my nose and i found the same water oozing out of my nostrils. bwahahaha! how the fuck did that happened. i got so amused with myself and tried that again but with milo this time. and guess what, the same brown liquid oozed out of my nostrils! it's for real, my throat is hollow.

and two, i received a rather disturbing phone call while watching one minute of fame on kids central (what can be more entertaining in the morning than watching stupid little girls making fools out of themselves for sixty seconds). so the convo went something like this:

chinese man: hello do you remember me?
me: erm hi, who's this?
chinese man: oh gosh you don't remember me! oh my, it's been so long i guess.
me: haha. yah can i know where you got my number from?
chinese man: from msn, remember? i asked you for your number? remember?
me: *shocked like fuck*
chinese man: anyway i'm not from singapore..you must've forgotten about me, gosh.
me: *annoyed by the way he says gosh* okay so where you from? erm i'm sorry but i don't remember giving my number to anyone on msn.
chinese man: i'm from malaysia..yes you did give me your number. gosh okay nvm, so how are you? not schooling today?
me: yah i'm fine thanks err no, i'm not schooling. by the way what's your name?
chinese man: i'm pien (wtf).
me: do you know my name? my email? what's your email?
chinese man: gosh i forgot your name, your email. cause the thing is, my computer crashed and i lost everything i knew about you. i hope you don't mind since i've only got your number.
me: but what's your email back then? *getting really impatient*
chinese man: oh i don't have an email cause i registered as a guest so blablabla *kept rambling about 'guest' on msn which i've no idea what the fuck he's talkin about*
me: you don't know my name?! how can you possibly ask for someone's number without knowing her name?!
chinese man: oh gosh i think i've got the wrong person. but by the way you schooling now? or working?
me: erm nope i stopped school for awhile. not working either.
chinese man: oh how nice.. why aren't you schooling? what you doing now?
me: because i'm sick and i don't think i wanna go on talking!!
chinese man: oh i'm so sorry.. you alright? what sickness is it? (tak paham bahasa.)
me: *realised the convo is getting too long* err wait. i'm actually kinda shocked right now. cause i seriously do not know who you are.
chinese man: okay i guess i got the wrong person then..i'm sorry..
me: err yah. bye?
chinese man: okay bye..sorry..

------------WHAT THE FUCK?!--------------

having my msn on auto sign-in and giving my bro and sis access to my laptop, it must be either one of them who had given away my number on msn, probably thinkin it was one of my friends who had asked for it. but still, i don't remember adding a freaking chinese malaysian into my account. *shudders* and pien is just damn crappy of a name. yucks.