anep thinks i'm a depressed little person. each time he says he wants to go out, on late nights especially, i'll tend to get abit agitated all of a sudden. "tak payah lah...," i would whine. oh sure he may go out with whoever, to wherever and whenever he wants to, i'm never the type of girlfriend who gets difficult and worries for no rhyme or reason. but the thought of him outside doing god-knows-what when here i am, stuck and sick? just bugs me. he keeps pestering me to go out, offering to take me to the beach since i'm so lazy to walk and promising to only buy soft foods just to be fair but still, i keep turning him down. i'm like so malas lahh. i don't even have the energy to get dressed and the mood to put my make-up on. let alone go to the beach?! it doesn't help even, with the medication which makes me really sleepy. that's how bad it is having to stay indoors all the time, twenty-four/seven. it isnt fair, i know. just because i don't wish to go out much does not entitle me to coop him up as well. (say hello to miss priss!) but anep's been very patient with me and was rather sweet when he dropped the conclusion. "aku rase kau depressed lah fi...."
ye ker? mana ade sak. hmm agaknye ar.

but who gives a shit. my mum bought me two pints of chunky munkys and choc chip&cookie dough ahhh she was really being generous i even received a dozen ribena mobiles!! (ILOVE RIBENAMOBILESSS!!!!) ben&jerry's makes me so full i have succumbed to eating only one meal per day! anywayyy, during my check-up this morning, the doc told me i was getting better at healing and he sprayed something into my mouth which made my throat really numb, totally devoid of any pain. it was magical! i lasted the whole brunch with so much ease although dad was being really naggy. that cannot eat, this cannot eat. i ended up gobbling down one big bowl of yong tau fu which has not a single vegetable in it, how typical of me. the soup is really nice and sweet and the hotdogs. i love hotdogs. then i thought, wow i can actually eat this things! so after that i requested for a tempura set but dad says prawns cause itchiness and it's fried for goodness sake i can't possibly take fried food. i was like fuck it already so when he left to get another drink, i got up and bought one tempura set to go. ahhh it's so sedap.

and now the pain's coming back. imagine there's a needle standing upright in your throat. that's how it feels like.



•4:48 PM•