'5ver


fi - like a woman scorned.
7th October 1988 - a star
is born. paranoid android. online since 2003, here you'll read about her daily spasms, visual spreads of close loves and a tinge of artworks from time to time. welcome to her humble abode.

CONTACT
fi_briton@hotmail.com
[friendster]
[myspace]

AUDIO


VISUALS
zoological
thecannery
coccolatte
aidilfitri06
london
nitot18
filthnight
hairspray

READS
amal// amanda// aruna// aysha// cherilyn// chinonet// dallilah// dan// danial// daya// dee// dha// dian// dinie// dyllah// diy// dy// eka// fae// fazli// fiffy// fir// fuhrer// hadi// hairul// hani// iansqrl// ida// ili// ilie// jaja// jane// jason// john// joo// khai// leha// lela// lina// mamat// min// mizee// naq// nj// nurasz// nurul// nysa// rasool// razif// reize// ria// samantha// saufie// sazz// shady// shameen// shasha// shazy// shyanne// sijia// shobi// sofia// tasya// xue// yanni// yazminda// yuse// zanna// zombiez// zura//

BLOW// THE RED WAGON// THE FAG SHACK// JUNK YARD FACTORY// STUDIOFROST//

CREDITS
blogger
rotter and friends
photobucket
adobe ps 9.0;cs2
VBrush
deviant art
c-box
my flash fetish
webmonkey
file cabin
file den
dynamicdrive


•all images, contents and
artworks in this blog
©fivefecta 2007.
thank you =)•


Saturday, November 18, 2006
it was never second-best.

to tell you the truth, i haven't been doing anyting productive for the past three hours of jamming on both my pc and laptop. i tried to make myself look more hardworking by searching for the most appropriate resume template there is on yahoo but none of them looked interesting enough for me to actually work on the real damn thing. nope. i can't do it. it's a friday night. nobody does homework on friday nights. and ya my skin's pathetic. no matter how much i design for other people, i am still not able to do myself some justice. doing others a favour is so orgasmic. i just love to help. but when you demand instead of ask, it's a total different matter. ili and i had this crazy idea (maybe it isn't) of setting up a blog skin business. please don't laugh. skinning is better than sex if you really think about it. serioussssssssss...

maybe if i had updated constantly for the past week, i wouldn't look life i have not much life right now?

i really hate jeff ho for scheduling my accounting2 tutorials at 9 on friday mornings. he must have known, i can never possibly wake up that early. ever. and he's abit dengki lah this kedi. would it hurt to put me and ili in the same tutorial group? would it?

and that boy. of all nights to pick a fight with me, must it always be on a thursday night? must it? but i don't hate my boyfriend. i think it's because he loves me which is why sometimes, he must. it's really depressing to know that it takes a fight for me to wake up and realise my own mistakes. i'm amazed. amazed at how he can still hold my hands and kiss me, fully knowing how i had once tried to stray and screw this up. and it's because of that i feel like nothing i try to do now will ever be enough to make up for what we've lost. the trust we built. the transparency we had between us and the way he use to make me think i was the best there could ever be. there is absolutely nothing i can do anymore to gain myself that slightest recognition. and surprisingly, these no longer matter. it is till the way he touches and kisses that makes me feel more than complete. it is so surreal, i still do wonder where we're heading with this, really. so if you ask me if i have ever felt like i'm not good enough for someone?

i feel that way every single day.

ahh. i can never get more random than this. why is it that whenever i take the time to really think about the boyfriend, it gives me a tight hunch in the stomach. and why do i feel like going zouking again tmr? the addiction.




•5:02 AM•