sleeping is becoming such a chore i dread it sometimes. why? why is it so hard to be dead for a few hours? i slipped on beer tonight because someone got fucking excited over another couple and spilled the whole can all over my brand new ipanemas. with that, i did a split into the drain and landed right smack on my buttocks. i came home with an ugly horde of red scars on the left elbow right up to the wrist. thanks zaki, you're the best ever. oh i just have to whine a little.











tonight. the light. the bending roads and the moon. cloudy skies from every ends. the way you held me from way up there. reaching speed from down below. it was almost perfect. nothingness. your blatant expression. you said this is just a game. and we should be nothing less than happy. you taught me to be selfish. and made it seem okay not to respond. every word to every rhythm. every song you sing to me. you're like an answer to my prayers. the calmness to my nerves, the pain to my pleasure. still you said it was okay. it was okay not to love. because this is just a game. and if it makes us nothing. nothing less than happy. you will give and give and give. and expect nothing in return.



•3:06 AM•