i miss my tots so much and i have this inkling of a feeling that the plan this friday to go crash at some hotel will have to be postponed. bet some of them would be going visiting or maybe, well, probably be busy smelling their boyfriends' armpits or something. argh. they say i don't call up often to make plans but what if i finally get my arse down to do it tomorrow, will you guys say yes? or would you guys do the whole "erm... ahhh... erm, the thing is, i don't know..." thing on me like you guys did on joo? hahahahaha! babi la korang. can we like meet up soon? isn't it obvious enough that i miss you girls like crazy?

this afternoon i had the most horrible nightmare ever. worse than the one i had of my mom going clubbing. how could you say that to me? in the most nonchalant tone i've ever heard you speak. not that you're not already nonchalant enough. luckily the phone rang and i realised i was just dreaming. still it felt so real. in the midst of all that confusion, i got out of bed with teary eyes, went into the kitchen to dry out the laundry, still playing the dream in my head, reciting the words you said, and feeling groggy altogether, i accidentally stepped onto a pile of hangers that was lying around and slipped myself across the kitchen floor. i almost fell out of the window la siak.

three days being away and it felt like forever, maybe because it has become somewhat, a habit to be sleeping to you. hari raya at the kampung is so fun. because wildan was there. and so was baby jap. they blew up the mercun like nobody's business. i want to post pictures but im too lazy to edit them. i missed afiq so much. i dreamed once about him too, okay maybe twice or thrice, but i recall the one i fetched him with my bike. haha. so tomorrow i'm going to cdc to book my practical again. since i've got plenty of cash right now, i might as well.

i want to go to recharge revelation next week. i just want to be away and out of town with him. maybe next month. backpacking trip to i don't know. i just want to get lost in another world. that's possible what, right?

and suddenly i'm so excited to go back to work tomorrow. this doesn't happen often. you're a smart boy and i hope you know what you're doing okay? a charmer that you are, it's so easy to love you. i miss you being here not wanting to block out the truth from me. although it is funny to know sometimes. six months was how long it took and the things that's happening to you, are the exact same things that happened to me. in any case, let's just hang in there. i wanna lie down next to you again. and we'll watch the sky and say nothing throughout the night. i miss you sugar pie.





magic maker, wish me one wish
hold me to your light and maybe
i shiver, you shake it
to me i can't help it
don't know am i dreaming
or have you, you haven't
oh what if i say , why don't we play
i'll wear your star



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